That shirt would look great on my floor. Right next to the pile of panties I stole out of your dryer. They smell like you.
*fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap squooge* Imagine that inside you. I do, everyday. WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME?!?
You remind me of Pokemon. I wanna pikkachu. I also want to keep you in a giant plastic ball in my basement.
You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.
Shall I wait for you in my car or will the closet suffice?
Excuse me, i managed to notice that every time i pass you, a monster grows inside me called "bitch get in my car" i just hope it doesn't escape and make me call after it ...
Let me spell my love for you S-T-A-L-K-E-R
Do you believe in helping the homeless? [If yes] Take me home with you.
I have a fetish for feet, can I lick your toes?(if no) Please?!
Do I know you from somewhere, because I don't recognize you with your clothes on?
"I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U..."
I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you.
You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated as your child so that I can breastfeed by you until I'm 20.
Do you think I could borrow that dress sometime?
Girl your are so hot I'd do you dead or living.
I like when you lay still like that....
You don’t know me, but your hair smells amazing. (Especially when woven into a shirt.)
What’s your favorite game? Mine’s called Following You Without You Knowing.
You look so cute when you’re sleeping. P.S. Try cleaning your closet sometime.
I wish I could sew myself to you.
I will give you one thousand dollars to smell your shoes. Please. It’s an emergency.
I would make out with your shadow on a gravel driveway.
How much money do you want for your old toothbrush?
We would make an amazing couple. I’m the guy sitting behind you at Starbucks right now. I got your number by looking over your shoulder while you were texting your boyfriend.
My pet bird died. I still have him though. He’s my only friend.
I want to put your Q-tips up my nose and go to sleep.
You know those birds that live inside crocodile’s mouths? I want to live inside your mouth.
Quick, tell me everything you know about black market organ donation.
I made a blood painting for you.
I love you more than my jar of fingers.
My favorite color is clear. That way I can always see you.
I bought the most expensive binoculars. That’s how much I love you.
You remind me of my sister. In a romantic way.
You would make a great soup.
I named my cat after you. You’re welcome.
Maybe you’ll love me back, in heaven.
I want to chew your food for you.
Wanna go to the movies? JK, let’s take a nap at the cemetery.
I painted a picture of your soul. I’ll give it to you outside the abandoned knife factory at midnight. Come alone.
I invented an emotion to describe our relationship, it’s called loveangerfrowns.
May I have a piece of your toenail clippings to tape to my eyeglass lens?
Just thought I would let you know, today is our negative two year anniversary.
You are like an angel that died and then was reborn as a woman. I know because you still smell like dead angel.
The veins in your neck are exquisite. Simply exquisite.
My aunt says I’m the best kisser she’s ever known.
I would do anything for you. Especially steal tranquilizers from the vet’s office. Seriously, say the word. I’ll do it.
I want to live in a nest of your hair.
On a scale from one to ten, I’m attracted to you whatever number equals being willing to rip out my own heart and put it in a box and leave it on your doorstep. Is that a seven?
Remember when you said my nose was weird? I cut it off! Can we go out now?
I secretly changed my name to your name, so when I tongue-kiss the mirror we are finally happening.
What do you mean you don’t want to go out with me? I have a shrine to you! A SHRINE!
My favorite movie is a cell phone video I made of you playing field hockey. It’s called Silence of the Lambs 4.
